6/4/2024
Reason to connect
Dear ยต,
I'd like to know whether there is anything wrong with knowing so
many people at once. Life goes by, our thoughts intermingle, and the
resolutions usually come down to one of two things: Either you stay,
slowly draining your need to connect with someone you already know,
or you leave by your own terms, as you dont feel like the connection is
as meaningful as you previously thought.
If you connect to so many people, the drain will increase by each
and every individual.. and the guilt of not giving them time presists.
And yet.. I do not feel it.
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4/19/2024
Falling in love with development
I did well choosing the weekly based game making program.
It feels like nothing I've ever experienced before! Everything is so
snappy and fast. I even manage to get things done with certain
level of satisfaction to it.
It is somewhat uncanny.
Is it?
Perhaps this is because throughout my journey I havent managed to
get bored of the thing I'm working on. Everything goes so fast...
...It finishes faster than I can even think about it.
Its a wonderful feeling to have something done by the end of the
cycle, but also I never put my expectations too high due to this time
constraint.
I think I could get used to this!
...
...
What. You dont believe me?
There have been to many times you've done this song and dance before.
You can fool yourself, but not me.
You are such a downer.
But you are right, I shouldnt get too excited about this. Nothing
feels worse than failing when you are supposed to be in your "good phase".
Could you tell flos to get supplies ready? I want to use their
gallery soon, perhaps after I finish all 10 of them.
Sure.
Thanks. That means the world to me.
3/9/2024
Commitment Issues
Yes, that is the title and this is what we will be sticking with for now,
until ill come up with what I want to change it to.
It has been about.. 3 weeks since last major update to the site?
Yeah.. something like that.
I dont want to make excuses for what I like to do in my free time. It does
feel counterproductive. Truth be told, I was just busy playing games and
wasting my time.
Not very surprising.
Yeah. I know.
I suppose this is why I want to talk about this in a sensible manner.
There are a lot of things I want to do, but been struggling
with committing. Starting but not finishing.
Everytime I try to do something new, something I am excited about, sooner
or later my interest fade and I can't seem to grasp on why. Its absurd.
And what is more absurd is that I can see that and not do anything about
it.
Have you tried cutting yourself off the social media?
I HAVE!! In fact, I dont use anything else other than discord. By now
all the time I spend is just.. you know. Staring.
Watching.
Thinking.
And forgetting to do stuff.
it geniuently terrifies me.
And you dont know what to do about it? Really? You out of all the people?
I am no better than thousands others doing what I want to do.
So many did and even succeeded where I fail. In this first step.
A step about committing to an idea and executing it. Why is that so hard?
It's not.
Yeah you are right.
